Mom and Dad’s final resting place is also distantly related to our family, because V’s great grandfather’s father-in-law was one of the founders of the cemetery.
V's grandfather bought a family plot in this cemetery. Mom and Dad had already setup their headstones long ago. V and our daughter visited the cemetery when they went to Salida several years ago.
(V took this picture in 2014 during his visit to Salida. The headstones from left to right belonged to V’s grandmother’s Mom, grandfather, and grandmother. Mom and Dad’s headstones were on the right. Their birth years were carved on the stone, while the death years were only added after we arranged the burial.)
After we decided to bring Mom and Dad home this summer, V’s sister P started arranging the burial with T, the owner of the Salida mortuary. T’s grandfather’s cousin used to work closely with V’s grandfather in their mortuary, so T and his wife knew Mom and Dad well. Dad had already given burial instructions to T, so we now just need to follow through.
After we spent a night in Salida, the next day was sunny and cool. It was a nice day to bid farewell. V drove us to the cemetery which was familiar to all of us except me. In this mountain town, one could see the mountains from almost anywhere. This cemetery is no exception.
The mortuary workers had already set up the grave site when we arrived. The headstones now have Mom and Dad’s passing years.
There is a big tree next to the grave, faithfully covering this plot over the years. While it was getting warmer, it still felt nice and cool under the tree.
There are lots of trees in the cemetery.
The headstone faces an open field, and as usual, it has a view of the grand mountains.
Look at the mountains closer:
V and his sister P brought the box to the grave site, then the mortuary employees laid the box into the final resting place.
T (the owner of the mortuary) and his wife also came. He still remembered V as since V’s teenager years, and even recalled V’s childhood nickname.
(We formed a circle and chatted about family stories with T and his wife.)
(The mountain was so pretty)
T also talked about the new trend of the mortuary business. More people chose cremation after death, and some spread their ashes in nature. Therefore, not everyone would need a plot in the cemetery. Cremation also made the burial timing more flexible, avoiding the harsh winter when necessary. Some families could wait till the summer for the burial which will allow families to fly in when the weather is better.
T may have thought we would hold some kind of ceremony for the burial, so they had set up some chairs at the graveside. But since we have shown our respect by accompanying Mom and Dad here in this trip, we felt that no other ceremonies were necessary. But when P said it was time to leave, I suddenly realized that it was time to say goodbye.
I went to crouch down next to the grave, touched my index finger to my lips before touching Mom’s headstone. This is the way we “kiss” each other in the family: after touching our own lips, we would use the same finger to tap the other person’s nose. It’s a way to indirectly kiss the other person. Mom and Dad used to kiss me like this, now I use the same gesture in return.
I quietly told Mom that I missed her dearly since she was gone, especially when I cook her dishes in the kitchen. I thanked her for loving me, and I will continue to carry my love for her in my heart. I then repeated the same gesture on Dad’s headstone, thanking him for sharing all the loving moments with me. I realized how much I didn’t want to leave, so I kissed my palms forcefully, then opened my hands towards them. I use this air-kiss to give them a big hug, and said, “Mom, Dad, I love you! Bye…” As I stood up, the tears flowed down my face like a river escaping the dam. My sister-in-law D was standing next to me, and she hugged me in tears. My daughter also approached me, so three of us faced Mom and Dad’s grave, hugging each other and sending them our love one last time.
Mom and Dad finally can rest in peace in their hometown underneath the blue sky and surrounded by lush mountains. This is also the last duty we made for them as their kids. Since this mountain town is so far away, I am not sure when we will visit again. But they will always live on in our heart. As we make every day counts in our lives going forward, we also become the extension of their lives. I would like to use these three blogs to thank my parents-in-law again for the tremendous love they had given me.
(Year 2000)
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